Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
