When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
