you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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