I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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