Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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