dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize