He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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