i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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