think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
