i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
