I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
