Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i dont even know how to be here
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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