How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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