at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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