Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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