smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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