i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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