We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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