After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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