I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize