I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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