I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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