Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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