Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
