I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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