you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
