I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
