I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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