i don't like sucking hair
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
