One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
