She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
