You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
