hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
