whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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