Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
