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• (650): View more from California

  Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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• (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?

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