also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine