Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?