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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (936): View more from Texas

  im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.

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• (805): View more from California

  Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.

  (716): View more from New York

  The apple don't fall far from that tree.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.

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