My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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