3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
