he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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