I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize