His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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