So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
