He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
