I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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