Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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