a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
