ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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