My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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