New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
