talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
