Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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