And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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