it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
