We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
