I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
