We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
