I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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