He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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