My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
