I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
