i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
